I recently received an e-mail from WordPress notifying me that my yearly subscription fee would be due in a few months. It was at that moment that it dawned on me that I hadn’t posted on my blog site in more months than I would like to admit. After that e-mail sat in my inbox I began to question why it was that it had taken me so long to write on a platform that I once enjoyed so much.
I began to consider all the reasons why sitting down at the computer was starting to feel more like a chore than what was once a fun diversion for me. While I could convince myself that the summer months were meant to be spent outdoors rather than posting to my blog or that preparing for a new school year ate up all my free time, one truth kept nagging at my conscience that was difficult to avoid facing. The truth was that my initial motivation to create this blog was to share my passion for teaching and leadership, and what I began to realize over the last few months was that the spark had sort of fizzled out for me. I’m not sure exactly what prompted my temporary “burn-out” as I will call it but I will say that I know the only way to separate myself from this feeling is to move forward in both thought and action.
I find it simultaneously difficult and liberating to admit the truth to myself, let alone place it down on this blog post, but I feel that it’s necessary for me to move forward in being able to re-evaluate my current status as a teacher and consider the future choices that lie ahead in my career. So it was at 2 am this morning as I laid awake in bed that I realized I needed to admit this truth to myself so that I can begin to find what will reignite the curiosity, passion, and excitement again that I have for teaching and contributing to my blog. While I don’t have all the answers yet I am surprisingly excited by the prospect of not having it all figured out yet.
Who knew that a subscription reminder to WordPress would have such a profound effect on my thinking?
Thank you WordPress.
For about 30 years I passionately loved teaching. I thought I would go on as long as I physically could, but then administrative mandates, testing, CCSS, and so much other nonsense took over what was once a creative process. I still loved working with kids, but time spent actually doing that was being drained away. After 34 years of teaching, I was past when I could retire in my state and was almost to Social Security. I bit the bullet and retired, feeling badly about leaving behind the teachers in the middle–those who had invested too much of themselves to quit and reinvent themselves, but were too young to retire. I have no idea if any of this applies to you, but I wish you well as you sort out what is important to you and what your next steps should be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Linda, I appreciate your reaction to my post. I have felt the pressures on my career that you mentioned and I think the best way to work through those difficulties is to identify them and find solutions. That is where I am right now and eager to see what direction the paths will take me. At this point, rather than frustration what I am feeling is freedom and a willingness to find what makes me happy. Thank you for your encouraging words!
LikeLiked by 1 person